Monday, June 6, 2011

But I'm a girl... I've never had to pay for it

As a woman, there is rarely a question of when you can have sex next. I am not patting myself on the back here. It's simply a matter of where I want to set the bar and finding a man. However, I've been divorced for 11+ years and in that time I have never picked up a man. I've never had a one night stand. For me this process would be like trying to buy illicit drugs. Sure I've experimented before, but I'm a girl... I've never had to pay for it. As a girl I've never had to go look for sex.

I suppose it would be as easy as walking into the nearest bar and saying, "So what's a girl got to do to get laid around here?" I think I could get at least two volunteers. Then I would pick the most attractive of the two, properly sanitize him, make sure that I wrapped myself in cling wrap, double wrapped his package with a variety of trojans, and voila... I'd be ready for random sex with a stranger.

Wow, I can't believe I've never tried that before. It seems so sexy. If I'm lucky, I could either wake up in a bed that isn't mine next to a man I don't know OR I could be double lucky and try to sneak him out of the house without my grown daughter, the neighbors, the mail man, etc. seeing him.

The more I think about it, the more I am ok with the once a year schedule I've grown accustomed to.

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