Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Embracing My Inner Alcoholic

6:20 AM: My cell phone vibrated next to my head; an annoying reminder that another day was about to begin. <snooze>

6:25 AM: Alarm "Jesus!" <snooze>

6:30 AM: Alarm. "Oh for fuck's sake. I'm up. I'm up already!"
I notice that there are voices drifting up from the main floor. I should probably investigate this.

6:35 AM: I realize that the voices have to be those of my father and my son preparing to leave for my son's first Mom-Free vacation, followed by his new Mom-Lite life with his bio-dad/sperm donor.

6:37 AM: I decide it would be best to see them out the door AFTER I put clothes on. I don't know that there's anything more disturbing than seeing one's parents naked. Pretty sure that it ranks right up there with finding a dead body, severed head, or realizing McDonald's forgot to take the onions off your burger.

6:40 AM: I find both men in the dining room. They look well rested and excited to get moving. I am reminded that I owe my father a book of pictures, which I dutifully fetch and toss across the table.

6:43 AM: Hugs all around. My son, realizing that he's actually leaving, doesn't look nearly as excited as he did a few moments ago. I hug him one more time and his voice cracks when he tells me he loves me. I pull away and notice he's tearing up.

6:44 AM: I tell him I love him too and turn quickly saying I need them to go so I can get ready for work. I run for the stairs, shouting parting bits of advice.
"Be careful. Don't forget your tooth brush. Call me when you stop for breakfast. Don't forget I love you. Grab your phone charger. Get your laptop charger. Make sure you have enough underwear."

6:45 AM: I bawl like a baby.

I would walk you through the rest of my day, but it's going to be work related and who needs that crap? I will tell you this much though, my post-work hours look like this:

4:00 PM: Run for the door, ignoring the sound of ringing from my desk phone.

4:15 PM: Cardio

5:00 PM: Weights

5:20 PM: Embracing my inner alcoholic (this time includes wine or mixed drink while soaking in the hot tub)

Sometime later PM: Digging around in the freezer muttering to myself, "What the f*ck? I thought we had some cream cheese mints up in this b*tch!"

Sometime after that PM: Sleep

No comments:

My Zimbio
Top Stories