Thursday, October 21, 2010

What in the hell was this about?

Here's one of those texts I look back on and wonder... "what in the hell was this about?" Why me? Am I in a relationship and someone failed to let me know? Have I become that woman that he would go to when he has questions about his relationships with other women? I know I am "that woman" for a few of my guy friends. If this text had underlying meaning, and he was trying to say something, but couldn't just come right out with it then I'd have to be both happy and sad.
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Him: Do you think real love exists? Soul mates? The kind that doesn't fade? That overcomes? Not the it's easy so let's stay together kind?

Me: I believe an affinity exists between some people more than with others that coupled with the other necessary relationship factors makes staying together easy.
Me: Love does exist.
Me: Passion has to be fed or it fades. I don't think having a soul mate makes it easy. It's supposed to be at least a little hard or you wouldn't appreciate it.

Him: You make it sound like a deal or a contract. I think it's supposed to be hard. You have to earn it. Maybe there's always a connection but it should be hard. No?

Me: See my other texts.

Him: Yeah. But the first thought is usually more accurate.

Me: They are answers to three questions. I have told you before it isn't supposed to be easy or do you not remember we've had this conversation before?
Me: And if you read my first response carefully... you will see it says coupled with other things relationships require.

Him: I do. And I also remember you amending your answers the same way. There's nothing bad here. I'm just wondering aloud.

Me: They aren't amended answers. It's a question that has many aspects. Love is a very broad field and what may be inherent in one aspect often needs to be nurtured in another aspect.
Me: But then again... I have never gotten it right before and I have been married so what do I know? Nothing except that if I love someone, they never have to wonder.

Him: I know. But what if true love happens DESPITE not having all the relationship stuff. Ok. Ever see Serendipity? Cute Movie. I like all John Cusack movies :)
Him: But the hard part for me in that movie is in the end they are both with great people who really love them but have to leave them because
Him: of the memory of someone else.

Me: Yes, I've seen it. I like him too. If I were either of the main characters I would probably do the same, but it would suck to be the one left. But that's life right? Some days you're the Louisville Slugger. Sometimes you're the ball. I wouldn't want to be with someone who would always regret it.

Him: I get your point. I guess I have a hard time hurting people who don't deserve it.

Me: Same here but I have been hurt before and each time I was eventually thankful for the honesty.

Him: I get the logic of that. But as hard as I am I'd much rather suffer in silence than hurt someone who cared for me.

Me: Any woman worth having wouldn't want a man whose heart belonged to someone else. I guess for me I would just rather know.

Him: Makes sense. :)

Me: And always be unfufilled? Yeah silence and half hearted attempts to be part of the relationship are SO appealing to that someone who cares for you. Not much respect for that person really. You don't want to hurt them so you go on letting them believe it's ok when maybe there is someone out there who would love them like they deserve... hmmm

Me: Apologies for the rant. You should know better than to ask me love and feeling questions. I blame you.

Him: I said I GET IT! I understand it logically. But I don't know if I could is all I'm saying sheesh

Me: Our texts are overlapping.
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So from that I could go in a couple directions. He's into someone and just wanted to throw that out there for female advice or he's wondering what my thoughts are because he is into me.  There's always the possibility that I am way off base here, but the first answer (to quote him) is usually the most accurate. Once in awhile a light switch gets flipped and it seems like things are finally illuminated. You can see things clearly for the first time in a long time and you know that even if you shut the light off... you can't really ever be in the dark again. Regardless of the answer, I turned on a light.

2 comments:

RCB said...

There are three possibilities:
1. He was into you, because guys always try their best to be interested in talking about love and soulmates when they want something from you. After a while they expect you to speak less and bring his slippers.
2. He is gay but didn't know it (I quote: 'Ever see Serendipity? Cute Movie'), which is fine, but there would be little hope of a relationship.
3. He wanted to get some inside information, so basically used you. The best info about women is info you get from women.
So, with hindsight, what's the verdict, or shouldn't I ask?

Angie said...

1. WAS
2. No.... he certainly isn't that. :)
3. Possibly

The verdict- my own insecurities ruined any hope of that ever coming to fruition.

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